Dear Reaching 30,

For both women and men, sexual desire or drive decreases gradually with age. However, testosterone, the hormone which primarily controls sexual drive in men, never stops being produced entirely. This is why it is not uncommon for men in their seventies and eighties to have an active libido. However, there are certain reasons why a man's libido may be affected for temporary periods of time at any point in their life cycle: stress, fatigue, preoccupation with work, side effects of medications, medical conditions, dissatisfaction with a relationship, and lack of desire for a partner, among others.

A man's sexual life does change with age, however, even as desire is maintained. From ages twenty to thirty-five, men tend to masturbate less often, and they have fewer wet dreams. Some men in this age group notice that their penises are not as hard as they once were, and that they require direct stimulation to get hard. Around ages forty to fifty, in order to get an erection, a man may require direct stimulation, and his erection may not be as full or firm as before. It is easier for his penis to lose its hardness, and, once lost, more difficult to regain. Men's angle of erection may change -- a penis that once pointed up may now just stick straight out; one that once pointed straight out may now still be stiff but point slightly down. The need for orgasm is less pronounced than in younger years. The force of the ejaculation is less, as is the amount ejaculated. As men reach their fifties through seventies, physical and mental arousal become much more critical to erection. It takes longer to ejaculate, and men find they don't need to ejaculate every time. Semen may seem to seep out rather than "shoot out."

What's important to remember is that these changes are normal bodily aging processes. Just as you wouldn't expect an Olympic runner to maintain his Olympic speed at age sixty, you shouldn't expect to maintain adolescent levels of sexual arousal twenty to thirty years later. However, the penis and the rest of the body never lose their capacity for giving and receiving pleasure! Alice hopes you enjoy a lifetime of good sex -- don't start worrying at age thirty!

Alice

Related Q&As

Looking for the cause of my low sex drive: Could it be the birth control pills?

Is it weird to feel hornier than usual during my period?

Does exercise rev up my sex drive?

Increased sex drive for women in their thirties?