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Culture, race, religion, and family
Should a younger man have sex with an older woman?
Originally Published: January 12, 1996
 
Dear Alice,

All my friends are always telling me that I should try having sex with a girl who is 10 years older than myself. I am 22 years old and my sexual partners have always been my own age or even a few years younger than me. Personally I don't fancy the thought of going to bed with an older woman, even though my friends tell me that I would learn alot and would enjoy the experience. What do you think? Even though I live in Denmark, which is pretty liberal sexually, I really can't bring myself to have sex with an older person. Am I abnormal or do you think I am right? Have you ever come across this type of problem before and, if so, what have you advised the people to do?

--Love the young one

 

Dear Love the young one,

What your friends are trying to say, in not so many words, is that many people believe that there are advantages to a younger man dating an older woman. There are many historic tales of older women indoctrinating younger men into the world of sexuality. Some of the stories are as ancient as the gods, whereas others are modern love stories of lust and woe. It is perceived (and in some cases true) that older women have more sexual experience, including a wider range of possible behaviors, and that they will appreciate a youthful admirer. Older women are more likely to orgasm than younger women, and the expectation is that they will be able to act as wise teachers to indoctrinate younger men into the sensual pleasures.

Myth or fact, different men are turned on by different things. It sounds like you know what turns you on, and what you find arousing. If it goes against your grain to be turned on by an older woman, then it makes no sense to try the experience. What works for your friends may not work for you, as we are all different individuals, with varying needs and desires. (And remember, many younger men boast of their sexual liaisons, and they are more likely to get away with the fantasy of being with an older woman as the women are less inclined, and have less need, to brag about their experiences). Most important, don't participate in any sexual activity that you are not comfortable with-- there are many other ways to get your sexual thrills that will be more palatable to your personal tastes. And maybe you'll have a chance to teach your friends some of them!

Alice

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