Dear Alice,
All my friends are always telling me that I should try having sex with a
girl who is 10 years older than myself. I am 22 years old and my sexual
partners have always been my own age or even a few years younger than me.
Personally I don't fancy the thought of going to bed with an older woman,
even though my friends tell me that I would learn alot and would enjoy
the experience. What do you think? Even though I live in Denmark, which
is pretty liberal sexually, I really can't bring myself to have sex with
an older person. Am I abnormal or do you think I am right? Have you ever
come across this type of problem before and, if so, what have you advised
the people to do?
--Love the young one
Dear Love the young one,
What your friends are trying to say, in not so many words, is that many
people believe that there are advantages to a younger man dating an older
woman. There are many historic tales of older women indoctrinating
younger men into the world of sexuality. Some of the stories are as
ancient as the gods, whereas others are modern love stories of lust and
woe. It is perceived (and in some cases true) that older women have more
sexual experience, including a wider range of possible behaviors, and
that they will appreciate a youthful admirer. Older women are more likely
to orgasm than younger women, and the expectation is that they will be
able to act as wise teachers to indoctrinate younger men into the sensual
pleasures.
Myth or fact, different men are turned on by different things. It
sounds like you know what turns you on, and what you find arousing. If it
goes against your grain to be turned on by an older woman, then it makes
no sense to try the experience. What works for your friends may not work
for you, as we are all different individuals, with varying needs and
desires. (And remember, many younger men boast of their sexual liaisons,
and they are more likely to get away with the fantasy of being with an
older woman as the women are less inclined, and have less need, to brag
about their experiences). Most important, don't participate in any sexual
activity that you are not comfortable with-- there are many other ways to
get your sexual thrills that will be more palatable to your personal
tastes. And maybe you'll have a chance to teach your friends some of
them!
- Alice
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