Dear Alice,
What if anything can a person do about their night time
dreams? I have had nightmares every night for the past
few months. I cannot remember when I last had a pleasant
dream. I don't attribute this to any daytime stresses,
I am happily married, and stay at home with my 2 young
children, which is what I want to be doing. But I truly,
dread going to sleep some nights, because I can count on
a nightmare or a very vivid disturbing dream. I am on no
medications, and I try to eat a healthy diet. There are
many nights where I feel very exhausted, but I do not
sleep well. Any insight would be helpful. I am afraid
that this will continue for years.
Dear Reader,
First, some interesting background: nightmares, those frighteningly vivid
dreams that shock us awake in the wee hours, are very common and quite
normal. The group most affected by these personal horror movies are
children between the ages of 8 and 10 years old -- especially those with
breathing difficulties due to colds, respiratory infections, and other
ailments. Children experiencing separation-anxiety from their parents and
home tend to have more nightmares too. For adults, bad, scary dreams
may be sparked by prescription drug use -- particularly from beta-blockers
(used to lower blood pressure and regulate an erratic heart rate) and
benzodiazepines (sedatives like Valium and Librium). Traumatic events,
especially those that involve torture and imprisonment, are common
nightmare triggers for adults as well. Nightmares are not specifically
linked to psychiatric illness.
Nightmares occur during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep in the middle
and latter parts of the nightly sleep cycle. They can usually be
remembered in detail because they often awaken us completely. "Night
terrors" on the other hand, are rattling dreams that take place during
NREM (nonrapid eye movement) sleep. Here, dreamers awaken screaming
and sweating, but their semi-conscious state prevents memory of their
dream content and sudden arousal. Night terror usually takes place in the
beginning of the sleep cycle, and is most common among 4-7 year old
children. Despite their distressing symptoms, night terror "victims" are
able to fall back to sleep quickly after these jarring episodes.
Even though nightmares and night terrors don't appear to cause any
long-term dangers, they can affect sleep-quality and mood. In your case, don't
be too quick to rule out your child-rearing responsibilities as a possible
stressor. It's important to remember that stress can result from activities
and emotions that we consider positive. Given that, here are a couple of
questions to ponder: are you getting any time to yourself -- to do what
you want without the kids and the mate; and, do you have a support network
of friends or relatives with whom you can share concerns and vent possible
frustrations? Since stressful events are associated with nightmares in
adults, you might try to reduce possible unconscious anxiety associated
with, well, life. Discussing your thoughts with others -- particularly
with other parents in similar roles -- and writing about them in a journal
may be ways to avoid taking tension to bed with you. Some people try to
"re-write" their dreams with more pleasurable outcomes -- either before
they go to sleep, or after they are woken up. Physical exercise,
meditation, and yoga all have a sleep-improving component, according to
many practitioners of these stress reduction strategies. Professional
counseling is another option if your nightmares persist. Rest assured,
however, that for most people, nightmares eventually subside.
- Alice
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