—PMS?

Dear PMS?,

Feeling out of control must be frightening and you deserve lots of credit for reaching out. Even though it can be difficult to ask for help, talking with a health professional is the best way to determine the cause of your anger (which may or may not be linked to PMS) and then get the proper treatment.

Premenstrual Syndrome, also known as PMS, has a variety of physical and emotional symptoms, including feeling irritable or angry. A woman with PMS may experience mood swings causing her to feel happy one moment and anxious the next. In rare cases, women experience a severe form of PMS called premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD. Symptoms of PMDD include acute depression, loss of hopefulness, and extreme anger. Often, women with PMDD have other psychiatric difficulties. According to the Mayo Clinic, another anger disorder is Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). More common in men, IED is associated with extreme episodes of aggression and violence. A health care provider will be able to provide the best diagnosis and help you manage your negative emotions in a healthy way.

In the meantime, you might want to try different techniques to control your temper. When you feel yourself getting upset, try taking deep calming breaths or counting to ten. Leaving the room as you've been doing is another good way to keep your cool. Learning more about what triggers your anger may also help you prevent your emotions from escalating. Do you tend to get angry when you are feeling rushed or stressed? Do you notice that you're angrier when you're tired from lack of sleep? These anger management techniques from Mayo Clinic may also be helpful.

Again, talking with a health care provider will enable you to get the best treatment. If you are a student Columbia, you can make an appointment in Primary Care Medical Services through Open Communicator or by calling x4-2284. To talk with a clinician at Counseling and Psychological Services (CPS) call x4-2878. At your appointment, tell both the providers at Primary Care and CPS exactly how you've been feeling so they will be able to help you.

If you are not a student, you can talk about your situation with your health care provider, your children's pediatrician, or another provider at your health clinic. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799-SAFE (7233) — a great resource for anyone struggling with anger or violence. In New York City, call 800.621.4673, or call 800.942.6906 in New York State.

Parenting can be stressful, and it's not uncommon for a mother to lose her temper sometimes. However, if you fear that you are on the verge of physically harming your children or yourself, it's important to talk with a health professional. S/he will help you find ways to strengthen your coping mechanisms and take good care of yourself and your family.

Alice

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PMS!