Sincerely, Scared

Dear Scared,

You need to have this checked by a health care provider. This may or may not be a problem. However, pain, and blood in fluids it shouldn't be in, are usually signs that something is wrong. If there is an infection, it could become a bigger problem if you wait too long.

This may be the first time you've had to deal wi th a health problem a little more private than having the flu. Understandably, you're uncomfortable and embarrassed to tell your parents about it. Remember, though, that they've been through stuff like this themselves. They may be cooler, more knowledge able, or more worldly about it than you imagine.

If you still don't like the idea of going to your mom or dad, perhaps you could talk with a school nurse first. Maybe s/he will be able to tell you what the problem is and/or give you an easy way to describe it to your parents. If that isn't an option, plan B is to tell your parents what is going on. With which one of them are you more comfortable talking about personal issues? Do you need to tell them everything? If you don't want to tell them about the ejaculation part, just say that you're concerned about the way your penis has changed and has been hurting. Say it was just sensitive at first and you didn't want to say anything then. Now, it's very painful and you need to see the doctor.

When you go to the doctor or other health care provider, your mom or dad doesn't have to come into the exam room with you. Then you can tell the doctor the whole story. It may be hard for you to tell him/her about these symptoms, but your concerns may be more difficult to diagnose without all the facts. While this is new territory for you, the doctor is used to dealing with these problems. S/he will treat you with care and respect, and make the whole thing as comfortable as possible for you.

Alice

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