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Finding a partner
If he likes me, why won't he call?
Originally Published: January 23, 1998 ~ Last Updated / Reviewed on: June 24, 2005
 
Dear Alice,

I met this guy I like about a month ago and I think that he really likes me. He has a very busy schedule with school, homework, and sports, but when he says he will call me, he usually doesn't. If he really likes me, why won't he call when he says he will? Also, how can I tell if he likes me for me and not just my looks?

 

Dear Reader,

Actions speak louder than words. It could be that he really is too busy to call. Alice's hunch is that if he really wanted to, he would make the time to call you. Perhaps it's time for you to move on. Don't give him more than he's willing to give you.

As for your second question, it can be hard to tell at first if someone is attracted to you for your looks or for who you are — or both. This is something that becomes apparent as you spend more time with a person. Usually, if the attraction is purely physical, the relationship will eventually fizzle, rather than sizzle, as you realize that you don't have much in common.

Not only with this guy, but with anyone you go out with, pay attention to how he treats you. Does he listen to what you have to say? Does he show interest in what you're doing or in what your plans for the future are? Does he want to do much more with you beyond the physical stuff? And, most importantly, what do your instincts tell you?

Alice

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