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About sex without “doing it” (outercourse)
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Originally Published: December 15, 2006
~ Last Updated / Reviewed on: November 14, 2008
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Most Recent
(1) Dear Alice, I was in a long distance relationship for a year and a half, and I want first to say that this person is not alone! Phone sex, though at first may be awkward to talk about, is a great way to keep intimacy alive when you're living far away. My boyfriend and I began by first just telling each other fantasies, and listening to the other's reactions was just the beginning. You may not want to jump into it all at once, 'cause that might be awkward. Just talk about things of a sexual nature on the phone and then ease into touching yourselves as time goes on. Vocalization is very important, and you can't be afraid to moan or to tell your partner that you like something. That's where all the fun comes in. Another thing that I would have you know is to not let anyone make you feel bad for what you're doing. You see a lot of people bashing those who cyber or have phone sex, but it's a perfectly legitimate way to be intimate and loads safer than unprotected sex. I enjoy it a lot when I do, and I think you will too.
[back to top] Dear Alice, My guy travels in his business and is gone sometimes for weeks. He started by saying a few things about sex in emails. Then I would make up stories about us and sex, and call them bedtime stories and send them to him each night. But that wasn't giving me any pleasure. I'd never masturbated in my life. He called me long-distance one night and said "I want to" do this or this, now take your finger and do that while I'm describing it. Then I started telling him what I'd do to him if he were here, in great detail. It turned into some of the best "cyber sex" you could imagine. It was as if he were with me. I could hear his voice talking to me, and I was making love by proxy. It was sexy and intimate, and we both received pleasure from it.
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